How to get your paperwork done

1.  Put on some fun music.

2.  Clear the stuff off your kitchen table so you have room to work, including the appliance light bulbs you took out of storage earlier.

3.  Decide to actually change the oven light bulb instead putting it off.

4.  End up with only the glass portion of the bulb in your hand, with the metal end still in the oven socket.

5.  Grumble.

6.  Pull the oven away from the wall in order to access the electric plug.

7.  Say, "GROSS!" and get out the broom to sweep up the nameless detritus lurking under the oven.

8.  Wrestle with the huge oven plug until you begin to worry that you'll get a shock.

9.  Put on rubber-lined gloves and get the dang plug out of the wall.

10.  Attempt to use half a potato to remove the rest of the light bulb, as per Heloise's Helpful Hints, which you bought at a garage sale 20 years ago and read but never used.

11.  Give up with the potato and head to Google to read other ideas.

12.  Decide to go with the good ol' pliers (which are, happily, still on the kitchen table!).

13.  Try 4 non-working flashlights to help you see the oven socket, and a 5th which behaves like a strobe light.

14.  Abandon the flashlights and use the pliers in the dark recesses of the oven to unscrew the piece.

15.  Let the potato juice dry in the socket before installing the new bulb.

16.  Pause to write a blog post about the ridiculousness of your life, the fact that the last 3 light bulbs you've tried to change (each a different kind of bulb- are the light bulb people trying to keep up with the yogurt people??) has broken in the socket or gotten jammed or otherwise refused to work, and repeat that this kind of stuff used to be Ramsy's job.

17.  Install oven bulb, plug in oven, shove it back.  If possible, pinch cord behind stove so the stove won't fit back into its space and you are forced to pull it out again, partially unhinging the oven door.

18.  Refrain from saying bad words.  Put it all back.

19.  What was it I was doing again?

Universe 4, Paperwork 0