Sad

After a couple of conversations with Ramsy and the oncologist, we have agreed that the chemo seems not to be helpful, and we are stopping treatment.  Ramsy has been classified as palliative, as there is no different treatment to try at this point.  The MRI from last Friday shows that the tumor has crossed from the left side into the right side- the area controlling motor function.  This explains the quite sudden decline in strength in his "good" leg, so it is a relief to have that knowledge even though it is also horrible.

We are still working towards getting him home from the hospital as soon as possible.  Equipment has been ordered, and we are just waiting for it to arrive and be set up so I can receive instruction in how to use it.  Ramsy is reasonably comfortable in the hospital, and his nurses are so kind and sweet but I know he would much rather be at home.  I miss him terribly much!

I talked with my kids today, explaining that their dad is not going to get better.  They are really sad, but they also sensed this coming just from watching his gradual slide over the summer, so I think that helped prepare them a little bit for that conversation.

I have every certainty that God could still heal Ramsy, instantly or gradually, and to me that seems like just about the best idea ever; but I'm old enough to know that our most cherished dreams do not always become reality, so we are working on learning to let him go.  And I thought labour was the hardest work I would ever do....

Please keep praying for us.  We need you all.